


The Batphone

by HeartEyesTurner



Category: Arctic Monkeys
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:21:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartEyesTurner/pseuds/HeartEyesTurner
Summary: Come and stay with us...
Relationships: Alex Turner (Musician)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 6





	1. Hello, Alex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is so much more than what meets the eye with this story… I hope you like the concept as much as I do.

“And yeh’ve made all the changes I’ve asked for, yeah?”

The buttons on his shirt slipped through his fingers, revealing more of his chest as he headed through a maze of corridors. There was so much to be done in a day, and Alex was more than ready to unwind.

“We did. Well… we did the best we could. If we had a little more time…” His assistant was apologetic. Alex knew he’d asked a lot of him and his team.

Frowning, he wondered if it was close to what he’d been picturing. He knew he was impatient; that was a character flaw of his he couldn’t quite get around. An impatient perfectionist. Terrible combination.

“Is it mobile yet?” He asked, his emphasis on the syllables particular to his native tongue.

The other man hesitated, “Not yet, Mr. Turner.”

“Alex.” He corrected him, more annoyed that he had to keep reminding him about how they should address him as their boss. With a chuckle he added, “It’s just fookin’ Alex.”

“Right. I know. _Alex_.” He stammered keeping the pace of Alex’s slow, measured saunter. “We couldn’t make it mobile just yet.”

Alex exhaled as they reached his office, “ _Ooooohkay_. I’m sure I’ll ‘ave a few more tweaks for yeh once I’ve tested it out tonight.”

The two men faced each other as Alex’s hand fell on the doorknob. He still wasn’t quite used to giving orders the way he had been for the better half of the last year, but he was getting there.

“Yes, please let me know. And we’ll continue working on the mobile concept. We’re nearly there, I think.”

Alex pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, nodding his head. He was done being social, he was ready to escape now. “Reyt. Well… ‘ave a good night, yeah?”

“Yes. Good evening, sir. Ehh… Alex.”

Alex lifted his eyebrows, a sparkle in his eye at the correction. The young man then disappeared as quickly as he was summoned and Alex was left to himself.

“Finally.” He drawled, slipping inside to the privacy of his office. Shutting the door, heleaned back against it for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before exhaling it all again in a deep sigh. “Fookin’. Exhausted.”

The only light in the room was provided by the wide, panoramic windows along the far wall, lending to the second-most incredible view the hotel had to offer. The first was his suite.

He shrugged out of his suit jacket, tossing it onto the back of the chair as he crossed in front of his desk where he also placed his phone and keys. He didn’t stop at the window tonight to marvel at the view below. Tonight he had one thing on his mind, and that’s all he could focus on.

He pressed his fingers into a pad beside the pocket door in the corner, one of the few places in the hotel that had this special function. His main goal had always been to stay minimal with the use of technology; that was the point of building this place to begin with, but this room, was an exception. The rectangular box scanned his hand, and when it was confirmed that it was indeed Alexander David Turner, the lights switched red and the door slid open. It had a very Star Wars kind of effect, and even after all he’d seen, and all he’d accomplished, he still marveled at this feature.

Inside it was dark and cool, and he announced himself once the door clicked shut behind him. “Good evening, it’s Alex.”

Clearing his throat, he unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt, and rolled them up to each elbow, revealing the tattoo that always made him think of home. He realized then, that he hadn’t been back in some time now.

Picking up on the inflection of his voice as an extra precautionary measure, the screen woke up, bright red at first until it dulled, illuminating the area surrounding the black leather armchair it sat beside.

Before Alex even had a chance to settle in, a glass of his favorite whiskey appeared alongside a box of the only kind of cigarettes he smoked, Natural American Spirits; the blue pack with the regular filters. And yeah, he was well aware that the ‘natural’ part was bullshit, but he’d been smoking nearly all his life, and even though he’d cut back a great deal, he still allowed himself the occasional cigarette.

Raking his fingers through his chin-length hair a few times, he fell into the comfort of the buttery soft, plush leather, and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. With a stroke of his beard, he let out a deep sigh, and reached for The Batphone.

It had been a joke at first, bestowing the device with the very same namesake as the one his favorite comic book hero used for his emergency hotline; but after awhile it became more than a placeholder and the moniker was affectionately adopted:

_“Sir, I believe Batphone is copy written…”_

_Alex looked up at him slowly, “Not on the fookin’ moon it’s not.”_

He inspected the screen and noticed more changes had been made besides the ones he’d insisted upon. The interface had been simplified; more easily accessible now that the menu bar had been moved down along the side, even the wallpaper had changed; black with a softly glowing red outline of his original mockups for the hotel and casino. He was impressed by that little gesture, and made a mental note to commend his assistant.

His files were safe-guarded by his voice, and accessible by him and him alone. Regardless of how much his team spent digging around and re-structuring the guts of the program, they would never be able to see the things Alex got up to when he slipped into the virtual world. And he made absolute sure of that.

June twenty-first, twenty-nineteen. That was the date of his last adventure. It had been over a week and he was more than anxious at the thought of going back in. He selected the _Dream Girl_ file, and then grabbed the pack of cigarettes, sticking one between his lips. He lit it while he waited, going over in his head what he wanted this time. Leaning back, the sub-menu flickered in mid-air before him. He took a long drag and exhaled slowly, the smoke billowing up around his head as he made more detailed selections.

Licking his lips, he spoke; his voice deep and clear in the empty room. “In this room. Just her and I. I need teh unwind. Little conversation, but keep the banter witty,” Alex stroked his chin as he contemplated how much he needed from her on this evening. “I liked the way she looked the last time. Make her hair about four inches longer, her hips a little fuller. Her lips, as well. She doesn’t ‘ave teh wear much, but I like her in blue. Sheffield Wednesday blue.” He added the last bit, thinking of his tattoo and his beloved football team.

He rubbed the back of his hand into his eyes, wondering if he should…

“Free-play.”

Knowing full well it was a risk, he did it anyways. Hopefully the proper modifications had been made and it wouldn’t glitch this time. Either way, he knew he had to test it to be sure. “Alreyt… readeh when you are.”

Alex reached behind him and grabbed the heavy glass tumblr with the gigantic round whiskey stone sitting inside. It reminded him of the moon, a place in which he now inhabited. The thought was still mind-blowing, despite the fact that the’d lived here a year now. In many ways, he’d done the impossible. Squeezing his eyes shut, he pushed the deep thoughts aside, and settled in for the opening credits.

It was a highlight reel; a compilation of all his adventures with his Dream Girl; but only the best bits, the parts he liked. The irregularities and malfunctions had been erased through trouble-shooting and all the mistakes corrected. It had taken him a long time to get to this point, but he had a feeling he was nearly there.

The screen widened to the same panoramic-size as his office windows, a shutter effect like plantation blinds unfolding as the images lit up the room. It was so much more than simply viewing a few shots from a film; it was events that had happened in his mind’s eye, in this world he’d created for just the two of them. It was intense to sit back and watch, having been an active participant every time.

She’d changed since the first time, but only improvements. His idea for her had remained fairly the same, but he’d since magnified the elements he loved and toned down the ones he didn’t. They weren’t completely compatible _yet,_ but he was getting close, he could feel it.

The last image that flashed before him was her eyes, soft and sultry and full of expression. It was like looking into her soul on such a wide lens. He loved that.

The colors faded into darkness like they always did, and Alex sat, his face and the smoke that circled it illuminated by the dim crimson glow of the phone.

If he squinted, he could make out the faint, hazy edges of her hips, fuller like he’d requested, and just as unclothed. He swallowed a gulp of whiskey, feeling it burn all the way down his chest to the pit of his stomach where it swirled and settled deliciously.

“Hello, Alex.”

//

Admittedly, he’d missed the sound of her voice.

“It’s been awhile,” She purred, her lips curled in a coquettish smirk as she approached him. “Last time was so much fun… I’ve missed you.”

Alex’s eyes widened. This was new. They _had_ improved the free-play mode. Cognitive thinking had been… less-smooth in the past. Too much prompting, too much disconnect. She was reacting on her own now.

The sway of her hips had him mesmerized, the adjustment had been exactly what he’d been dreaming about. And he had dreamt of her often, which was where many of his ideas for her came to him; in the subconscious realm. He’d wake up and scribble down notes; aesthetic details, scenarios he wanted to try. Conversations he wanted to get lost in with her…

“Did you miss me, too?”

She was a foot away from him now, moving slow, her body coming into view under the red glow. He’d asked for her to be wearing very little. She’d obliged. The Sheffield Wednesday blue was the perfect color against her skin, even when the red made it appear slightly purple, it suited her. Her long, dark hair was parted down the middle, thick and full, and it swung over her shoulder like a curtain when she leaned her hands on the armrest. Her knee nudged against the outside of Alex’s thigh, and she swiveled her hips in such a way that she’d somehow managed to settle in his lap, her back pressed to his chest. With a moan, she adjusted herself, arching her hips like a feline stretching in the sun, her legs on either side of his, leaning back with her head against his shoulder.

“Very much.” He drawled, spreading his legs wider, his lips dropping a cool kiss to her shoulder as she nicked his cigarette from him. She took a long drag, and then let it waft from her lips like some sort of dreamy, opaque smoke signal. She stuck the cigarette back between his lips and sat up, grabbing his drink and draping herself both over him and the armchair.

“How was your day, Alex?”

He took another long drag, breathing out his words, “I don’t wanna talk about me day.”

“Rough one, was it? I thought you seemed tense… stiff even…” she raised an eyebrow as she sipped from the tumbler, “…mmm…” she wiped at her lips slowly, catching a drop and sucking her finger into her mouth.

Alex stirred.

Her eyes sparkled. No glitches.

“You need me to help you relax tonight, don’t you?” She shifted her hips in his lap, purposely rubbing against his cock. “No small talk.”

“Not in the mood for it, no…” Alex’s hand coasted up her calve to her thigh and she stopped him, moving it between her legs.

“We don’t have to talk at all. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.”

His eyelids fluttered when his fingers pressed against her pussy, the lacy blue fabric damp and warm. It was incredible, the texture of the material, the warmth of her skin. “Mmm…” she purred, moving his fingers for him, rubbing herself against his hand.

She took another sip of the whiskey, holding the glass near her cheek and smirking as his fingers found his way inside, making contact with her skin.

“Fookin’ unreal,” He murmured aloud, without meaning to. He was fascinated by how a week had made such a difference in the realism.

She leaned in as if sharing a secret and pressed her lips to his ear, “It _is_ unreal. And it’s all yours tonight, Alex, if you want it.”

//

Alex rubbed his hands over his face, sighing deeply. He combed his fingers through his freshly showered hair, and leaned on the rail of the balcony. From his suite he could see the casino, lit up like the Fourth of July on the outside, buzzing with the sounds of victory and defeat on the inside. He’d never been much of a gambler in the traditional sense, he had better ideas on how to spend his money; like building a casino on the moon for instance. He’d once gotten away with watching a scene or two of the movie Casino with Robert Deniro when he was nine years old. It was too violent his mum had told him, but he hadn’t cared about the violence, it was the lights and the soundtrack that got him.

Sometimes he’d catch himself singing Dean Martin’s “You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You”; the crooner’s voice would creep into his head at the strangest of times. Like now; after a long day, and an even longer night, surveying this magnificent place he’d created; a virtually impossible dream come to fruition. He couldn’t remember where now, but he recalled seeing an old ad for The Golden Nugget Casino in it’s prime, before they added the hotel. It was right on Fremont Street next to the Famous Pioneer Club with it’s gigantic neon cowboy towering over the block. Alex wanted that. Not the flashy Vegas strip, but the feeling you got when you looked at photos of places you’d never been; curious about their interiors and the mysteries that were hidden just beyond the gilded double-doors.

In a way, he’d done that. And he’d done them all one better. He’d put a fucking casino on the lunar surface; in a place where there was already no pre-existing concept of time, no way to tell if it were day or night; all the moments bleeding together on an endless loop. And yet…

“ _The world still is the same, you never change it, as sure as the stars shine above…_ ” He hummed, tapping his fingers on the railing as the rooftop taqueria rotated beneath the stars, the din of the patrons and house band the only other sound for miles. His stomach rumbled at the idea of food. He should’ve eaten. But a stomach full of expensive whiskey and an evening with his Dream Girl were a fair trade for whatever dinner he might’ve been served.

Alex had moved two-hundred-thirty-eight thousand, nine-hundred miles away from his home planet, and he still somehow found himself fraternizing with a woman that was as inauthentic as the women he’d known back on earth.

Sighing heavily, he closed the slider door behind him, and climbed into the bed that was far too large for someone of his stature. All alone in the very center with loads of room to spare; he made mental notes about the changes that still needed to be made as he drifted off to sleep.

“Cue that depressing line about being a lonely king cleverly disguised in a jazzy little ditty.” Alex muttered as he rolled over, clutching the pillow beneath his head.

_“You may be king, you may possess the world and it’s gold, but gold won’t bring you happiness when you’re growing old…”_


	2. What A View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know where it came from, but I got really involved with this fic in the last week and wrote the first chapter. Maybe I miss the feel of the album and how incredible it was upon the first listen, or maybe it was re-watching Blade Runner recently. I’m not sure. Either way, I hope you enjoy chapter one! And please don’t be afraid to comment and let me know what you think. It’s been so much fun creating the atmosphere of this hotel.
> 
> Lauren xx

Virtual Stimulation _;_ a concept that stemmed from a misheard word and a scrapped idea for a sort of… video postcard. The thing was, Alex wanted to get off the grid, disappear, do something different for a change; and the one thought he couldn’t shake, was space travel. Or more like; space _destination_. When he started out, he had no intentions of making his space hotel anything more than what it was: a hotel in space. A place you could go and take it easy for awhile, disconnect from society and get back to how things _used_ to be. Going back to a simpler time wasn’t as easy as it sounded, though. Sure, he’d gotten the details right; the decor was ace, the lighting created a certain mood, and the tacos and margarita special at the taqueria were second-to-none. But there was still that element of technology that prevented a completely clean slate.

And he was the guiltiest of them all.

Even now as Alex sat in the total darkness of a Tuesday morning, waiting for her to appear after the highlight reel, he was disgusted with himself. In a place where he heavily advocated the importance of a real human connection to all his guests, he was hidden away, unable to shake the idea of woman that ceased to exist in the real world.

“Yer a fraud,” he whispered to himself, his eyes narrowing, the pads of his fingers tapping anxiously on the armrest. He was sick of waiting in the dark with baited breath. He wanted natural light and a different location. More adjustments.

He heard her laugh first, and then a playful, “Back so soon?”

The room was instantly brighter with her presence… or was that the device? He couldn’t quite tell. Yet another reason to take it mobile. Alex had chosen freeplay again with no extra requests. He wanted to see what happened in that mode; if she could maintain the same conversation, if her personality changed.

“You left me only a few hours ago… last time it was at least a week.” Her smile was sweet, a little bit teasing, but beautiful.

“I missed you,” He replied, before he even knew what he was saying.

Alex wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw something in her eyes flicker, like she felt an emotional connection to his surprising honesty, but he knew that wasn’t possible.

“I’m flattered,” She smiled, perching on the arm of his chair, the hem of her silk robe revealing most of her right thigh. “And I missed you, too.”

“Did yeh, now?” Alex asked her skeptically, accepting the mug of steaming black coffee that had appeared upon her arrival.

She nodded, tucking her dark hair behind her ear, “I hate it that we can’t spend the night together. We’ve never spent the night together, Alex.”

He knew this to be true for several reasons. The amount of time they were allowed to spend with each other was limited on purpose, as a sort of failsafe. Too long in the fantasy and he might become too attached; the lines between real and fake would get far too blurry. As of now, four hours was the max. It was astonishingly short if he were being honest. Enough to fool around for awhile, but not enough to cultivate a meaningful relationship.

_Meaningful relationship._

He had to laugh at himself. What kind of life exactly, was he trying to have with his dream girl? Sure she was essentially real to the touch, but her basic DNA was just a computer program; beneath the skin she was a hologram; a collection of mathematical equations lined up in just the right combination. She was by no means capable of having real feelings, creating real memories, of falling in love if not by design.

But.

He was getting ahead of himself. She was meant to be a temporary fix until or _if_ the right woman came along. Someone to numb the sting of loneliness. He didn’t know what to expect however, having left his home planet. He figured if he could just cut it alone for awhile, then maybe she’d find him. So here he was, taking the fantasy to an unattainable level. Maybe he was spending _too_ much time alone.

“Alex?” Her voice caught him, “Where did you go?”

With a soft laugh he murmured, “Lot on me mind.”

“Same as last night… do you not want to talk about it?”

Alex smiled, “No no, love, s’alreyt. Just… hotel fings.”

“Fings,” She repeated, her smile growing wider, crinkling the corners of her eyes. Alex mirrored her expression. “I like your accent.”

“Yeah I’m… not from around ‘ere.” He chuckled, pleased with his last-minute decision to visit her this morning.

Her arms folded on her knees as she leaned forward, dazzling him with her smile yet again. “Me neither.”

“We ‘ave that in common, then.”

She laughed and Alex felt the tension melt out of every muscle in his body.

“Do you want to have breakfast with me, Alex?”

“I would like that very mooch.”

Her nose wrinkled up, “Mooch.”

“Are yeh joost gonna repeat all the words I say funny?”

“Maybe. You sound too cute not to.”

“Yer gonna give me a complex, tha knows.”

“A complex?” She questioned him as Alex’s very favorite breakfast appeared beside them. “It’s not a negative thing, it’s very endearing.”

She watched with a heavy interest in her eyes as he reached for a slice of bacon; not too crispy, not too fatty… and took a bite. “Where are you from, Alex?”

These were new questions.

“Sheffield, England.”

“Do you miss it there? Will you tell me about it? Can you also tell me what that bacon tastes like? It looks delicious.”

Alex covered his mouth, suddenly embarrassed that he was eating in front of her when she wasn’t able to eat at all. “M’sorry love… rude of me to-”

“I’m not mad, Alex.” She smiled, sitting up, “I asked if you wanted to have breakfast with me. You’ve got a busy day ahead of you, and I wanted to make sure you had something to eat.”

He had that feeling, in his chest, where his heart felt it was going to leap right out. She cared about him. With no ulterior motives and he felt like maybe the desire to have a deeper connection wasn’t all that bad. Maybe he could even fall in lo-

“Besides, I know what I am.”

With a heavy sigh, he forced his next smile. She knew what she was… so how come he didn’t?

//

“Mr. Turner… you’re needed at the Information Action Ratio.”

Alex pressed his fingers into his eyes, deep into the sockets; he really had slept poorly and his brain was throbbing. “Summat wrong? Did weh run out of guacamole?” She would’ve like liked the way he said that word, giggling at his drawled-out pronunciation.

“Pardon me, sir?”

Alex snorted and rolled his eyes, groaning at the painful gesture. “N-never mind…” His joke was wasted on him. “I’ll head over there, now. Fanks, mate.”

It was only ten am; and Alex had already dealt with a handful of issues before the situation with the restaurant came up. That was of course, _after_ he’d spent time with her. He pushed his palms into the edge of his desk, sliding his chair back and snatching his sunglasses before heading to the taqueria by way of the lobby. He ran into his assistant halfway down the hallway in the opposite direction. When he spotted Alex, he paused, pivoted and joined him.

“Good morning, Alex.”

“Ah! Yeh got it reyt on the very first try!” He wagged his finger at him, squinting his eyes. “Knew yeh’d catch on eventually.”

Hugo chuckled and pushed his glasses further up his nose. He was a young kid. New to the staff. Sweet. Attentive. Keen attention to detail. Alex was enamored with him. He saw a little of himself in the younger man with the thick dark haircut, styled with a perfect side-part. Like a cooler Clark Kent. The kid was definitely born in the wrong era.

“‘Ey… wanted teh tell yeh that I was realeh quite impressed wiv the modifications on The Batphone. The glowing schematic of the hotel on the main screen was a nice touch. Well done, you.”

He beamed, his arm swinging at his side as he walked; his hand clutching tightly to a stack of books and papers; ledgers and things. “Thank you, Alex. And how about the other details?” He raised his eyebrow inquisitively, a slight twinkle in his blue eyes.

Alex stroked at his gingery beard, trying to hide the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. “The modifications…” He drawled slowly, mulling over what it was he wanted to say next. “Were better than I’d expected. And the free-play mode? Knocked it outta the park, mate. Well done, seriously. Well done.”

More beaming.

“Any other notes or thoughts or—”

A high-pitched squeal broke their concentration as both men looked across the lobby to the sound. It came from a young woman with her arms thrown wide open greeting another woman with her arms full of luggage.

Saturday mornings were always busier than usual; the latest crop of guests at the lunar hotel had arrived. Once a week around ten am, the official spacecraft of Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino arrived, packed to the brim with new-comers or old friends. The ride to take guests home was at noon. Once a week. It was a tricky arrangement, but after many heated debates; it was settled that they’d max out on one trip on Saturdays for arrivals and departures. Anything less wasn’t nearly enough time, and anything more was almost too long. Guests who stayed longer than a week often suffered from what Alex liked to call The Johnny Torrence effect. A little bit stir crazy. A little bit of cabin fever. Sometimes the distance of the moon in relation to the earth was too far for people to come to terms with, and they got too in their head about it. They hadn’t taken into consideration just how vast the universe really was.

“Christ…” Alex muttered with a chuckle, glad to see his guests were so pleased to be here. “Where were weh? Ah, yeah… modifications. I’ve got a few ideas. I-”

He cut himself off when he saw the makings of a disaster at the front desk where not a single soul was to be found. There were guests waiting to check in, and the phone was ringing off the hook, and Mark, the receptionist, was nowhere to be found. This was unfortunate for several reasons. Alex wasn’t _mad_ perse, but he was irritated that the one person he was meant to rely on… wasn’t being very reliable.

“‘old on….”

Alex marched over to the front desk where the phone was ringing, faster than his usual saunter around the premises. He reached over and quickly snatched the receiver before the call was lost.

“Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino; Alex speaking. How may I direct yer call?”

He was just beginning his greeting when Mark suddenly appeared around the partition that divided the lobby from the front office. He looked sheepish when Alex gave him a look before notifying the guest it would be another moment, and put the call on hold.

“Where were ya, mate? It’s arrival time; busiest part of the weekend.”

Alex was very particular about the protocol and the manner in which guests were handled at the front desk. The lobby was the first true impression any guest had of the hotel; and Alex had spent more hours than he cared to tell making sure the design and decor was just the right aesthetic.

Giving him no time to explain, he handed off the phone to him, “I’ve gotta get to the restaurant; some kind of taco emergency or summat. I’ll come back around after, yeah?”

Alex pointed at him as he rounded the desk with Hugo already by his side, “Can’t miss those calls, alreyt mate? Very important to be ‘ere unless it’s an emergency.”

Mark nodded, receiver in hand, hovering over the hold button. “Sorry about that, Mr. Turner.”

“Alex.”

“Right! Sorry Alex.”

“I’ll see yeh in a bit… take care of tha’…”

Alex shook his head, smiling as he headed down the hall with Hugo who had to take a few extra-long strides to catch up.

Alex loved the front entryway. He felt the most accomplished when walking through it. He’d taken cues from all those old hotels and casinos in Reno, sneaking pops of bright, psychedelic colors into the artwork and lighting; but keeping most of the palate muted neutrals. He liked the idea of how most homes in the seventies felt like a strange little time capsule; stuck in their decade because of the strong use of whacky colors, so he kept to the terracottas and avocado greens and Las Vegas golds. He had stone walls installed where he could, wood-paneling, glass walls and unique uses of concrete. He loved the fluidity of bringing the outside inside, and took cues from the likes of mid-century architecture like The Sheats Goldstein House by John Lautner in Beverly Hills, Los Angeles. The way he designed the triangular-shaped concrete to draw the direction of the eye in each of the rooms was something Alex wanted to recreate; but he’d toned down the industrial vibe as he leaned heavily into the kitschiness of the seventies, and the back-to-nature feel carried over from the late-sixties hippy movement with loads of greenery.

The lunar surface was obviously void of natural flora and fauna, and Alex missed that aspect of home and living in California. He insisted that the lobby contain an atrium that had creeping vines and palm fronds, massive tropical plants and water running throughout. It all culminated upwards in a cylindrical rock wall to the fourth floor, leading your eyes towards the glass ceiling with an the most unreal view of the starry sky. The end of the atrium was also the beginning of the sky garden, where he elaborated more on the natural concept. The massive botanical garden was located on the roof, with natural stone walkways and waterfalls not unlike ones he’d once seen in Singapore where he’d fallen in love with the vertical architecture. It was open around the clock, since time had very little meaning on the moon; the ideal location for insomniacs like himself to partake in quiet and secluded late-night strolls.

Alex’s original intention for the hotel was to escape the mundane aspects of life of Earth; to get away from the limiting beliefs and rigidity of the idiots in power. So the notion of building upwards was symbolic to him; a sort of ‘the sky’s the limit’ kind of attitude, where anything and everything seemed possible.

And here in his little colony on the moon; it was.

“Wonder what that was all about…” Hugo asked, glancing back at Mark talking animatedly, his hand gesturing wildly.

“Mark’s alreyt, just a little distracted sometimes I fink…” Alex checked the time on his phone, it’d been at least ten minutes since he received the call about the taqueria. If it were truly an emergency, then he was running out of time. “D’yeh ‘ave any idea why they need meh in the kitchen?”

“No idea,” Hugo replied, clutching his books as Alex gestured for him to get on the elevator before him. “They didn’t say?”

“Joost said I were needed.”

The two of them fell into silence as they rode up the outdoor elevator to the very top of the hotel where the Information Action Ratio was located. The view was far too pretty to discuss business, and they took it all in, admiring the meteor shower in the distance. You really couldn’t know how incredible the night sky was until you were standing right in the middle of it.

“Dunno if I’ve ever mentioned this to you, Alex, but bloody brilliant the way you designed this hotel. The concept. The location.” Hugo whistled, “What a view.”

Alex wasn’t too good at taking compliments, but this one, he was quite humbled by. The hotel was the biggest project he’d ever tackled. It was his baby. More so than any album he’d ever written, and that was saying a lot. Especially when thematically, his last album was essentially the prototype for this very establishment.

“Thanks, mate. I appreciate that.”

Hugo nodded, his breath catching as it always did when they got high enough to see the bright, rounded curve of Earth through the glass. In the first few days of his arrival, he would head to the highest part of the hotel and sit for hours looking at his home planet. It was different in every way from the way the moon appeared in reverse; far more breathtaking with it’s swirls of blues and shades of green.

They stepped out onto the patio where the lounge was located just before the entrance to the restaurant. Hugo wasn’t wrong, the view was insane. He’d situated the hotel so that if you were dining on the roof, or if your room was facing the south, you could see Clavius; the second largest crater on the moon, and the only one visible from Earth. He wasn’t sure if he got the idea from _2001: A Space Odyssey_ , but Clavius Base was the site of an administrative facility in that film. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t largely influenced by that film, and Stanley Kubrick’s work. It seemed fitting to highlight such a gorgeous natural feature, while paying homage to legendary artists he admired. Regardless, the view of the monstrous crater was a sight to behold, and having one of the hotel’s signature margaritas while taking it in wasn’t a terrible way to spend the evening.

“Never thought I’d be living and working on the moon, but here we are.”

Alex chuckled, removing his tinted yellow aviators as they headed beneath the spinning sign and straight through the to the bar. “Wot’s the problem ‘ere?” He asked as the maitre d’ caught sight of them, menus in hand as they rushed over.

“Good morning, Alex. Sorry to bother you. I think there’s a problem in the kitchen.” “Reyt…” He nodded and headed on back with Hugo in tow. “Whatever’s goin’ on… as long as it isn’t poisonous food,” He chuckled, “‘ave lunch wiv meh, and we’ll discuss the modifications.”

“Lunch with… me?”

“Wot? Yeh don’t like lunch?” Alex teased him as they pushed through the double doors to the immaculately clean kitchen. Gleaming silver and white surfaces everywhere and a handful of chefs hard at work at the mid-day meals.

“Alex!” The head chef waved him over, “We’ve been waiting for you to try this!”

Grinning he clapped hands on backs and squeezed shoulders as he made his way to where he was standing. “Wot’s this, now?”

“Messing around with a few new flavors, and came up with these,” She presented three different plates with the brightest, prettiest street tacos he’d ever seen.

“New dishes?” He hummed excitedly, already rolling up his sleeves to try.

“Thought if you liked them, we could add them to the menu tonight. They might be a little cool now, so forgive me.”

“No need to apologize, thas on me…”

She walked him through each one: grilled garlic-lime shrimp with watermelon salsa and cucumber; pulled pork, pineapple, avocado, and red cabbage with cotija cheese; and the last was not actually a taco, but a mexican street corn quesadilla with feta and lime.

“Fink I’ve died and gone teh heaven, Sage,” Alex told her around his mouth full of food. He wiped at his lips and beard, which were sure to have some sort of remnants remaining.

She beamed, hand on her hip, “Any critiques or criticisms?”

“Yeah,” He nodded, tossing the napkin onto the counter, “Why the fook are these not already on the menu?”

Sage let out a belly laugh and Alex told what an incredible job she was doing; that they were all doing.

“Listen, weh’re gonna ‘ave lunch now since we’re alreadeh ‘ere… can yeh make a whole mess of these for Hugo and I?”

“‘Course, boss.”

“Right on.” He grinned and left them to it.

//

“Yeah… and if yeh could joost… keep the tacos and the margaritas coming. Hugo ‘ere has cleared me schedule for the rest of the afternoon.”

Hugo gulped the last of his drink and pushed his glasses up his face, “I have?”

“Yes.” Alex grinned at him, “Joost now.”

“I guess it _is_ Saturday… a little break wouldn’t hurt…”

“That’s the fookin’ spirit!” Alex took a large gulp of the that day’s special margarita; clementine and jalapeno. Every day there were several unique drink specials; and happy hour every day at four until seven. There was poolside service with a swim-up bar. Thursdays were dollar street tacos all day; even breakfast ones in the morning. When he said he wanted his guests to escape, he really meant it.

“I think I’m getting hammered,” Hugo confessed on his third drink, and he’d lost count of the tacos.

Alex grinned, happy to be hanging out with someone instead of spending all his time alone in his office or running around the hotel like a chicken with his head cut off. He missed his friends back home, but they all had lives to take care of; busy with children and careers and family. Some of them had come when it had first opened, like Zach who’d done all the promotional photos, but it had been months since he’d seen any of them in person.

“Me too, mate. Should weh ‘old off on The Batphone discussion… or?”

“I know about her.” Hugo suddenly blurted, feeling a little dizzy as he made his confession.

Alex’s eyebrow arched, and he felt his face flush.

“How much d’yeh know?” He replied calmly after a moment.

“Enough to make those modifications more personal and intimate. It was only a matter of time with all the coding. I don’t know what happens when you’re with her… just that she exists. I couldn’t not tell you.” Alex wasn’t speaking so he added, “Technically I can’t see anything you’re doing while engaged in The Batphone, and just to be clear, I’m not judging you. Your secret is safe with me.”

It was a strange feeling that burned through Alex’s body; it wasn’t quite embarrassment or anger, it was some odd place in between, and it had nothing to do with Hugo. He was annoyed with himself.

“Wow, tequila really is a truth serum.”

Hugo chuckled nervously, hands in his lap, afraid to move; afraid of what Alex was going to say.

“Relax… I’m not mad at you. Meself, maybe but… that’s a conversation for me therapist or summat. I understand. How could you not know what were goin’ on? My requests were-”

“Very specific,” Hugo laughed, “But you’re very clever with the wording you chose to explain what you wanted.”

“Do y’fink it’s weird… that I’ve…”

“Got a virtual girlfriend?” Hugo replied bluntly, shoulders relaxing now that he knew Alex wasn’t cross with him. “Not at all. Not for someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“You’re an extremely talented and very private musician. Who wrote an album which was essentially an allegory for life on Earth in America, based in a fictional hotel on the moon. And then because you don’t spend your money on _anything_ , you used it all to create a replica of that same hotel _on the actual fucking moon._ Where you now live. And you only perform once in a great while at the bar late at night. No word on when anything will happen again with your band. You haven’t got any friends up here. No family. You really couldn’t be more of an oddball.”

Alex’s jaw tensed; he’d clocked him.

“Well, fook. Who needs a therapist when yeh’ve got a drunk assistant, eh?” Alex rolled his eyes and finished off the rest of his own drink. “I sound like a fookin’ psychopath.”

“Psychopath, no. Interesting human being? Yes. Naturally a virtual girlfriend is a logical course of action for you. No real commitments. She’s around when you need her. You can modify her to your exact specifications and interests. Then she’s gone when you’re done.”

“Hugo. Mate. Can yeh please stop. Yer makin’ her sound like an escort.”

“Well… for all intents and purposes…”

Alex’s eyes widened. Is that what she was? A virtual escort? Was he that fucking disgusting?

“I-I never thought of it like tha… I don’t see ‘er like tha…”

Hugo’s hair looked extra dark sitting out among the stars, a stark contrast to Alex’s disheveled sandy brown mess. “Alex, you said it, not me. You’re trying to build a meaningful connection with her, right?”

He nodded, swallowing hard. He was getting increasingly angry at himself.

“You don’t think… you should give her a name…?”

Alex exhaled, hands running through his hair. “I’ve considered it but-”

“Makes her too real?”

He pointed at him, “Exactly.”

Hugo sat back, smoothing his skinny black tie down, “Right. I suppose that would make her too much like a Replicant. Except without all the bioengineering.”

“Wot’s a Replicant?”

“Like in… Blade Runner?”

Alex frowned, shaking his head, “Never saw it.”

“Whaddya mean you’ve never seen Blade Runner?”

Alex stared back at him for a long moment, “Ya know… Yer not the first person to ask me that. Cheeky though, I like it.”

Hugo laughed, his eyes glazed over from the alcohol. Their fourth drinks had come round and they’d already tucked in. “Okay… forget about the Replicants thing. But you really should see Blade Runner. Maybe play it in the cinema one night.”

“I honestly don’t know why I hadn’t already done that… “

“Look. I gave her the ability to have memories with you. The highlight reel that you see is similar to what she has stored in her own virtual memory. She can learn from you. And soon enough… you can take her with you.”

“Ah, I was gonna ask about tha.”

“I’ve been struggling with that a little to make sure I get it right. I’m working on a way to _physically_ turn your phone into The Batphone.”

Alex’s smile spread from ear-to-ear, “Do y’ave any idea how mooch of a dream come true tha is for meh?”

“That you’re obsessed with Batman? Had no idea.”

“I don’t know if I love or loathe this new Hugo to be honest.”

“Would it help if you thought of me as your own personal Alfred?”

Alex burst into laughter, his eyes welling up with tears. “Then that would make meh…”

“Bruce Wayne.”

Hugo had to admit, he loved seeing this side of his boss. He’d never seen Alex so loosened up before. If he had one job as his assistant, it was to make sure he kept him smiling.

“Now _that’s_ the real dream come true.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can also [find me on Tumblr](https://hearteyesturner.tumblr.com/).


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